Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Never Ever Have I Ever....

This morning as I was driving to work I had a lot of time to think. This is because my normally 20-25 min commute took me over an hour. Because it snowed quite a bit this morning. And because regardless of how much people in Colorado drive in the snow, they still don't know how to drive in the snow! And because Denver doesn't really know how to plow roads. And because we are so environmentally cautious that we use small pieces of sand and tiny rocks to provide traction on our roads rather than salt and other harsh chemicals. Which is why myself and about 90% of other drivers on the road have chips or cracks in their windshields which in turn impair our vision, which in turn makes us even worse at driving in the snow.

But, after a quick rant to myself about how much this drive was going to suck and a quick prayer that I would not be dying today, I resigned myself to the fact that my drive was going to be longer than usual and that I should just embrace the snowy wonderland and inch along in the parking lot with the rest of Denver. It's slightly comforting to know that we were all in it together. I felt bonded in some way to the people around me. In fact, I even found myself cranking the radio and singing loudly to Lee Ann Rimes - "How Do I Live". It was magical. I felt inspired. And I'm fairly certain I was at least inspiring a few people around me. I made sure to put on a good show with lots of facial expressions and expressive hand movements. Unfortunately, by the time I realized I should be using my water bottle as a microphone, the song was over.

I've been thinking a lot about my driving habits this lately. Mostly these thoughts started because I began getting annoyed at myself for how cautious I am when it comes to yellow lights. I almost always slow down instead of speeding up. Which, I think is what you're supposed to do, but it sure makes me annoyed when I stop and then wait for the light to turn red exclaiming "I could have made it!!!!". And then I have to wait. And wait. And wait...... Until it turns green all the while chastising myself for yet another failure to gun it when I should have.

PLUS I would really like to receive one of those red-light tickets in the mail. Let's be honest, we've all seen them hanging on our friends' refrigerators. When I see these hanging I ultimately begin to believe that person is just a little bit cooler. The red light ticket is like a badge of honor. It always catches you doing something funny or looking guilty, etc, etc. And I WANT one!!! Not that I want to pay the ticket (another thing about Denver is that their ticketing system is exorbitant), but one red-light ticket isn't going to break the budget and I think it would be well worth the slight monetary inconvenience.

So what have I been doing lately? I've been pushing my luck with the yellow lights. I haven't gotten quite so desperate as to outright run a red one, but I've been cutting it just a little closer than usual. Living on the edge a little, you know? It's exhilarating! I feel so alive every time that yellow light comes on and I have to make the decision: should I stay or should I go? And I GO. I gun it! I live without regrets. And if I happen to run a red light one of these times because I pushed it a little too hard, then I'll receive my shiny reward in the mail. And let's all hope I'm doing something really awesome in that picture.

I have a friend who is a very nervous car rider. She told me the other day that I am one of less than 5 people she feels safe with in the car. I know this should be a complement. I am a safe driver! Yippee! But I felt disheartened. I felt insulted. I felt she was being unfair. I don't want to be the safest driver on the road! I'm 27 years old for goodness sake! I don't have a child in the back seat! I want to live a little dangerously.

But let's be honest. I'm going to continue to be a safe driver. I've never even been given a speeding ticket for goodness sake! But I am going to play a little closer to the edge with those yellow lights. I want one. JUST ONE red light ticket. To hang on my fridge and prove to myself and everyone around me that I'm a little dangerous.

So don't worry. I won't be a stupid driver. I won't g-chat on the road (that's right, I was just sitting here at the office and a friend started g-chatting me while driving!). I don't live that close to the edge. But when I finally get my badge of honor and am able to proudly display my accomplishments, I'll let you know. Until then.....

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