Recently I went on a little backpacking trip with my old backpacking camp: Young Life's Wilderness Ranch. My guide partner and I took a group of Baylor's finest Young Life leaders out for the best week of their lives and brought them back with a small going away present.
Giardia.
Affectionately known as the G Rock.
Because it rocks your socks off. And not in a good way.
This is not an easy feat, mind you. I am a little bit proud of us. I guided for two summers without ever receiving this little friend, and after one week back on the trail, he's decided to make a home in my tummy. And I'm pretty sure he's made his home in the tummies of all my new Baylor friends as well. Neat.
For those of you who know what giardia is and are thinking "ew. gross. why are you telling me about this?", you can stop thinking less of me and forever labeling me as the giardia girl because I didn't have the normal symptoms, ok. Hopefully you catch my drift and I don't have to tell you what that means. But you can stop judging me now.
I am, however, really proud of my excellent nursy skills because I correctly diagnosed myself even when the Nurse Practitioner listened to my symptoms and didn't actually believe I had it. She ordered a test anyway, and low and behold, it came back positive. HA! I WIN! Slash, I lose. Because you never really win when you have giardia.
On a side note, I am also proud of my excellent nursy skills because I totally fixed some guy's dislocated finger the other day in the park! Yes! Two nurse points in one week! Winner!
Back to the story.
So the NP prescribes me this antibiotic. An antibiotic I am to take in one dose. Four pink horse pills all at once. Yikes! Not my idea of a good time. I gag them down all the while considering what havoc they're going to wreak on my body. I mean, they must be fairly powerful if they're going to knock out the bacteria that's been eating away at my insides for a month in one fell swoop. Right? Right. My stomach is now upset because of the medication and my mouth tastes like I'm lapping up the inside of a tin can continually. Yuck.
Oh, and to boot, I can't have any lactose for a month. Because apparently the G Rock can cause permanent lactose intolerance and if I stay away from it for a month maybe I'll be spared from being a lactard for the rest of my life. Cool. So now my mouth tastes like metal and I can't even enjoy my morning latte. It's the best part of waking up/working at a coffee shop and I can't even partake! Nor can I have cheese. Or butter. It's been two days and I'm pretty sure every pitcher of milk I steam and every cheesy bagel sandwich I make beckons me to come back to it. And then laughs in my face when I tell it I have to stay away from it for a while. But just for a little while, I say. Don't worry, my friend. I will never let you go!
This is my nightmare. And I have spent the last two days whining about it to anyone who will listen. And now I am continuing to whine about it on a blog that I know at least 70 some-odd people will read. And I'm sorry. Only not. Because I imagine you at least got to laugh a little at my misfortune which ultimately makes up for the whining. Right?
Love and Kombucha (for the probiotics, of course).
And milk.
And cheese.
And butter.
And cream cheese.
And sour cream.
And milk chocolate.
And cottage cheese.
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Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Britney Spears and Lady Antebellum
Really, Britney? You spell your name like that? Dear Wikipedia: Did Britney's parents decide to spell her name like that or did she decide it was going to make her look cooler if she changed it?..............
(Brief interlude while I actually go ask Wiki)
Apparently Britney's birth name is Britney Jean Spears. I only believe her name was originally spelled that way because her middle name is Jean. Nobody would change their name to Jean to be cool. Believe me. My middle name is Jo. Which, maybe if you're a country singer is cool, but not if you want to be credited with "influencing the revival of teen pop during the late 1990s". Thanks Wiki. You have ALL the answers.
Apparently this means I spelled her name wrong when I put it in my Facebook status today. Which I only care about because I hate making stupid spelling/grammatical errors in my status updates. (And in related news, apparently Facebook is still not recognized as a real word in the dictionary because Firefox tells me it's spelled wrong. But Firefox recognizes the word Firefox as being spelled correctly. Hmmmmm......)
In other news I went to the garden center today to buy some plants to finally start my garden. Mind you, I am not incredibly late doing this. Just a couple weeks. The frost date is May 14th in Denver, so I couldn't even think about planting the little guys until then.
I made many new friends at the garden center. Mainly vegetables. And Adam. My new high school buddy. Adam was SO helpful. I aimlessly wandered the aisles looking for the vegetable section for quite a while before I found Adam. He asked if he could help me and I thought to myself 'aren't you a little young to be working? There have to be child labor laws against this type of thing'. But as it turns out, Adam was quite knowledgeable. Or else he pretended to be knowledgeable. Either way, he helped me pick out some great seedlings.
On a quick side note, I am incapable of writing while listening to music. So I just made a big sacrifice and turned off my awesome Pandora station.
So there I am at the garden center. I really didn't know what I wanted to plant so I told Adam I was in the market for some vegetable seedlings and he took the reigns. "Well, here we are in front of the squash. Would you like some squash?" "Why yes! Yes I would! I want both zucchini AND spaghetti squash. Thank you!". "How about peppers? Do you want some peppers?" "Well, I had forgotten about peppers, Adam. But yes! I certainly do want peppers!"
If only Adam could get a glimpse of the inner workings of my mind. He had no idea the recipes he was sparking into creation as he suggested his smorgasbord of vegetable delight.
I started gaining confidence as I imagined the possibilities: "How about tomatoes? I would love some tomatoes." "Well, we have a lot of tomatoes. They're all over there. Would you like me to get you a cart?"
What a nice young man! He is going to make some pretty lady so very happy one day.
He brings the cart and we start picking my seedlings. I tell him I would like some grape or cherry tomatoes. But I am still fairly new to the gardening business so I asked Adam to pick my plants for me. I told him we could name them all. He REALLY got into it! First up: Jeffrey. I think Jeffrey was the warm up. The names got better from there. However, I like Jeffrey for the grape tomatoes because they're cute and small and Jeffrey reminds me of a little boy.
Next up I asked for some normal size tomatoes. Adam got a little spark in his eye. "You should go for the celebrity tomatoes because then you can name them Britney Spears!!!". Well all right, Adam! I like your style!
This name game thing was going to be better than I thought! On to the peppers. Pedro the jalapeno (because he will be used in my salsa). I'm pretty sure he'll grow up to be a Spanish speaking pepper. Then came Edna the bell pepper. I'm not sure where that came from. It was Adam's idea. I think he named her that because she is a Lady Bell pepper. I may or may not have changed her name to Lady Antebellum. I thought it was more appropriate. Don't tell Adam.
Then came Mario the spaghetti squash because he's from Italy and Charles the zucchini squash because he's an aristocrat squash. We thought Charles was very appropriate. Well, Adam wanted to name him after Prince William. I decided Prince Charles was better. Sorry Adam. After all, these are going to be my plants. I think I should get the trump card.
However, you did win one round. You talked me into fertilizer. Which is probably a good idea. But I still kind of hate the idea of paying for a bag of poop.
After my cart was full of poop and veggies, Adam walked me to the checkout counter, had a hilarious interaction with a senior citizen, and then helped me carry my poop to the car. I was glad to know that our conversation didn't lack once outside the store. There's always the possibility that you hit it off inside the walls of a place and then once outside those walls everything turns awkward. Believe me. It happens. Mostly when I try to be real friends with my regulars at the coffee shop where I work. Never works out. Pure awkwardness.
But Adam and I bonded once again over his interaction with the little old lady. "Guess what today is?" He says to me, drenched in sarcasm. "Senior Citizen discount day. Every Tuesday. I love it." Then we talked about how I have at least one of those interactions every day and I tell him that I work at the coffee shop a couple blocks away. Maybe he'll come visit me sometime. Maybe not. He's probably too young to drink coffee. And the magic probably wouldn't be the same outside the garden center. So, farewell Adam! Wish me luck with my new friends. We'll speak of you often with pride in our bellies and laughter in our hearts.
Yep. Pride in our bellies. Whatever that means.
AND in totally unrelated news, my first client is due very soon!!! I'm so excited to be a part of her and her partner's birth experience. They are truly a delight! My next post might just be about my first birth attended as a doula. Stay tuned!
(Brief interlude while I actually go ask Wiki)
Apparently Britney's birth name is Britney Jean Spears. I only believe her name was originally spelled that way because her middle name is Jean. Nobody would change their name to Jean to be cool. Believe me. My middle name is Jo. Which, maybe if you're a country singer is cool, but not if you want to be credited with "influencing the revival of teen pop during the late 1990s". Thanks Wiki. You have ALL the answers.
Apparently this means I spelled her name wrong when I put it in my Facebook status today. Which I only care about because I hate making stupid spelling/grammatical errors in my status updates. (And in related news, apparently Facebook is still not recognized as a real word in the dictionary because Firefox tells me it's spelled wrong. But Firefox recognizes the word Firefox as being spelled correctly. Hmmmmm......)
In other news I went to the garden center today to buy some plants to finally start my garden. Mind you, I am not incredibly late doing this. Just a couple weeks. The frost date is May 14th in Denver, so I couldn't even think about planting the little guys until then.
I made many new friends at the garden center. Mainly vegetables. And Adam. My new high school buddy. Adam was SO helpful. I aimlessly wandered the aisles looking for the vegetable section for quite a while before I found Adam. He asked if he could help me and I thought to myself 'aren't you a little young to be working? There have to be child labor laws against this type of thing'. But as it turns out, Adam was quite knowledgeable. Or else he pretended to be knowledgeable. Either way, he helped me pick out some great seedlings.
On a quick side note, I am incapable of writing while listening to music. So I just made a big sacrifice and turned off my awesome Pandora station.
So there I am at the garden center. I really didn't know what I wanted to plant so I told Adam I was in the market for some vegetable seedlings and he took the reigns. "Well, here we are in front of the squash. Would you like some squash?" "Why yes! Yes I would! I want both zucchini AND spaghetti squash. Thank you!". "How about peppers? Do you want some peppers?" "Well, I had forgotten about peppers, Adam. But yes! I certainly do want peppers!"
If only Adam could get a glimpse of the inner workings of my mind. He had no idea the recipes he was sparking into creation as he suggested his smorgasbord of vegetable delight.
I started gaining confidence as I imagined the possibilities: "How about tomatoes? I would love some tomatoes." "Well, we have a lot of tomatoes. They're all over there. Would you like me to get you a cart?"
What a nice young man! He is going to make some pretty lady so very happy one day.
He brings the cart and we start picking my seedlings. I tell him I would like some grape or cherry tomatoes. But I am still fairly new to the gardening business so I asked Adam to pick my plants for me. I told him we could name them all. He REALLY got into it! First up: Jeffrey. I think Jeffrey was the warm up. The names got better from there. However, I like Jeffrey for the grape tomatoes because they're cute and small and Jeffrey reminds me of a little boy.
Next up I asked for some normal size tomatoes. Adam got a little spark in his eye. "You should go for the celebrity tomatoes because then you can name them Britney Spears!!!". Well all right, Adam! I like your style!
This name game thing was going to be better than I thought! On to the peppers. Pedro the jalapeno (because he will be used in my salsa). I'm pretty sure he'll grow up to be a Spanish speaking pepper. Then came Edna the bell pepper. I'm not sure where that came from. It was Adam's idea. I think he named her that because she is a Lady Bell pepper. I may or may not have changed her name to Lady Antebellum. I thought it was more appropriate. Don't tell Adam.
Then came Mario the spaghetti squash because he's from Italy and Charles the zucchini squash because he's an aristocrat squash. We thought Charles was very appropriate. Well, Adam wanted to name him after Prince William. I decided Prince Charles was better. Sorry Adam. After all, these are going to be my plants. I think I should get the trump card.
However, you did win one round. You talked me into fertilizer. Which is probably a good idea. But I still kind of hate the idea of paying for a bag of poop.
After my cart was full of poop and veggies, Adam walked me to the checkout counter, had a hilarious interaction with a senior citizen, and then helped me carry my poop to the car. I was glad to know that our conversation didn't lack once outside the store. There's always the possibility that you hit it off inside the walls of a place and then once outside those walls everything turns awkward. Believe me. It happens. Mostly when I try to be real friends with my regulars at the coffee shop where I work. Never works out. Pure awkwardness.
But Adam and I bonded once again over his interaction with the little old lady. "Guess what today is?" He says to me, drenched in sarcasm. "Senior Citizen discount day. Every Tuesday. I love it." Then we talked about how I have at least one of those interactions every day and I tell him that I work at the coffee shop a couple blocks away. Maybe he'll come visit me sometime. Maybe not. He's probably too young to drink coffee. And the magic probably wouldn't be the same outside the garden center. So, farewell Adam! Wish me luck with my new friends. We'll speak of you often with pride in our bellies and laughter in our hearts.
Yep. Pride in our bellies. Whatever that means.
AND in totally unrelated news, my first client is due very soon!!! I'm so excited to be a part of her and her partner's birth experience. They are truly a delight! My next post might just be about my first birth attended as a doula. Stay tuned!
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