Do it if You're Cool!

Hello faithful followers. (Apparently I can say that because I have had at least a few people tell me in the past week that I need to write again.) I didn't know anyone was paying attention. Thanks guys. You're the best!

I haven't written lately because I don't know that I've been seeing the world through my "funny eyes" as of late and I just didn't know what to write about. That, and I've been super busy playing laser tag and going to Jump Street with my 11-year-old sister. I'm SO not cut out for that kind of life. But I tell you what, I certainly felt like a god kicking little kids' butts on the laser tag court. Court? Field? War Zone? Whatever. I was SO GOOD at laser tag! And I hadn't played in years! Mainly I feel like this may have been because I was playing against many 8-year-olds, but I don't care. I'll take my kicks where I can get them.

Here's a question for you. In a fight to the death, how many 8-year-olds do you think you could take down before they took you down? Now think about this long and hard. Some of you men out there may think you could pop off an easy 20 at least. But I challenge you to really stop and think about this one. This is a fight TO THE DEATH! They are not tickling you here. They are trying to take your life! They are mean, vicious 8-year-olds. You may be able to outrun them for a while. You may even be able to pick one up and use him as your weapon for a while. But eventually you will be overcome. I think I could do 6. That's right. I'm a realist. This is not my first playground experience. 8-year-olds have so much more energy than I do. I don't think I'd last more than 10 minutes with those little buggers.

Ok. Stop judging me. Admit it. It's funny.

However, kicking little kid butt is not the point of this blog. The point of today's lesson is to teach you all the power of the chant. The chant, for me, originated with a single phrase "Do it if you're cool". Simple at first glance, but when chanted in succession this is a powerful tool for peer pressure. And when you add a fist pump, people are all but powerless to its effect. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe peer pressure is actually a good idea. Albeit funny, it apparently gets a lot of people in trouble. So use this phrase wisely. And don't blame me if your friend starts doing drugs because of it. That's what they taught us in elementary school. Peer pressure leads to drugs. Just say no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Broken record technique. Almost as effective as the chant itself.

Over the years the chant has grown and changed into something beautiful in my life. I think it really brings people together. I used to chant alone. Now all of my roommates have caught on and chant with me. It spreads like wildfire once people catch on to its catchiness. Things like chanting each others' names in encouragement: "Amy! Amy! Amy!" was one I used recently to encourage my roommate on her licensure exam. I used it both before the exam to encourage victory and as a celebratory technique after the exam was over to congratulate her on passing. Both are equally effective and so simple. I mean, one word says it all!

You can also use the chant to liven up every day activities. It makes mundane tasks exciting. I.e. "Mop that floor! Mop that floor! Mop that floor!". It makes simple vegetables unique and beautiful "Carrots! Carrots! Carrots!". Don't believe me? Try it. Try it in the comfort of your own home right now. Look around you. Start chanting the name of an inanimate object "slippers! slippers! slippers!" Watch them come alive before your eyes! They are not just slippers any more. They are so much more than slippers! They are slippers full of wonder and possibility.

Have a to-do list today? (That sucks. It's Saturday). Try chanting yourself into getting excited about it! "Laundry! Laundry! Laundry!" or the old stand by "Do it if you're cool! Do it if you're cool! Do it if you're cool!" always seems to help in these situations.

You guys think I'm kidding about this. And part of me is. But there is actual evidence that during labor rhythmic breathing and phrasing is actually incredibly beneficial. I'm not sure I will be fist pumping and chanting "Do it if you're cool" in the birth room, but I will certainly be using the same essential technique to work through contractions with a mama. If I repeat the same phrase or set of encouragement over and over in a rhythmic way during a contraction it has a soothing and calming effect. "You are incredible! You are strong! You can do this!" Or whatever phrase is best suited for the mama. Maybe do it if you're cool would be effective. Who knows? If I ever give birth I might ask my doula to chant that with a fist-pump attached. I think a little humor might be just the ticket for me.

Try the chant. I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Do it if you're cool!