Kid in an Adult Candy Shop

Today was a day for running errands. We're having a bit of a bachelorette party for one of my roommates tonight so I had a some preparing to do. We'll be having dinner at our house first so I had to go grocery shopping and then we're going out on the town so I had to go party favor shopping.

Girl Scouts are certainly in season right now and I had yet another encounter while grocery shopping today. I was impressed by the skill level of this bunch. 3 girl scouts are always stronger than 1. As I walked out the door I mentally prepared myself for the ever-so-sweet "would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?". Determined to be strong and not give in to their huge puppy dog eyes I responded in an equally sweet manner "No thank you. But good luck!". I was walking away when the second wave hit. "Well then would you like a recipe for Thin Mint brownies?" Crap! They were unrelenting! I turned around slowly. "And would you like to try one?". I knew it was over. I begrudgingly admitted defeat, tried a brownie and told them I would buy a box of Thin Mints. This is not the first time an unsuspecting customer has been seduced by these cookie selling fiends. My friend Luke got chanted into buying a box yesterday. "One more box! One more box!" was chanted at him as he left a store and he succumbed to the power of the chant almost immediately. So I decided these girls could use a little marketing hint and suggested they start chanting that towards the end of their day as an extra push to sell a few more boxes. One of their dads laughed. The girls stared at me blankly. Clearly they have never experienced the power of the chant. They will one day. And they'll think back on me fondly.

A story about girl scout cookies, however, is just a teaser to the real excitement of the day. A trip to candyland. And by candyland I mean an adult store which will go unnamed. You know, for party favors. I really had to gear up for this one. Never have I ever entered one of these stores. I really didn't know what to expect. All I knew was that I found it hilarious to be going to one. Apparently I'm still in middle school. I even came up with funny little anecdotes to say to the desk clerk on the way in. Such as "Would you point me to the penis paraphernalia please?". Such great alliteration in that sentence! However, I decided that probably wouldn't get me very far because there is a lot of paraphernalia of the penile type in such a store.

I drove up. Parked. Put my game face on. And walked to the front door. (Not carrying my mace as my grandmother had insisted upon. Apparently these places are supposedly sketchier than I thought.) As I walked through the front door I noticed a large poster for a play toy that said "Have we met?". Classy, adult store...very classy. I went in, immediately saw a "bachelorette party" section and made a bee-line for it. This might be easier than I'd thought! But there was very little to offer and I was a slightly disappointed so I decided to venture through the rest of the store. Wow. That's all I have to say. It really was like being in a candy store. So many different colors, flavors, sparkly things, toys, outfits...if the pictures on the boxes didn't make me blush I might have had a really fun time giggling to myself as I walked around the store. When I had scoured every rack and found nothing (except the x-rated section. oops) I went back to the clerk and when she asked if she could help me I resisted the urge to say "I'm looking for some penises". (peni?) What's the plural? I don't think I've ever used that word in the plural form. I instead told the clerk I was throwing a bachelorette party and was wondering if there was anything else besides what was on the display. She told me to go upstairs. There was a whole second level! Who knew the need for these kinds of things was so widespread?!

I went upstairs. Resisted the urge to buy a veil with penis sequins and bought a sash instead that said Miss Bachelorette. Plus an inappropriate shot glass. I couldn't help myself. And I also made an impulse purchase. Which I would not have expected of myself. But it's a gift. For Jen Seris. Because she deserves it for coming up with all of those excellent Doula names. Don't worry, Mary. If you're reading this, it goes in the kitchen. Not in the bedroom :)

Anyway. I learned a little lesson today. Which I think I already knew, but it never gets old. Confidence gets you a lot of places. In life, in adult stores, in the labor room, etc. I'm just starting out as a doula, but as I continue to learn and grow as such confidence will help me support women so much better. Confidence in encouragement. Confidence in healing touch. Confidence in suggesting pain relieving techniques. Confidence.

And a little humor goes a long way as well!